In other news:
The New York Yankees have been awarded the 2009 World Series. Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig said, "They're such a good team, and everyone likes them, and they've worked so hard to get here. They deserve it."
Brazil has been declared the winner of the soccer gold medal in the 2016 Olympic Games. "After all," said IOC President Jacques Rogge in a written statement, "they will be the home team. Does anyone really doubt they will win it?"
Nine-year-old Peewee League quarterback Johnny Minton of Odessa, Texas, has been announced as the winner of the 2020 Heisman Trophy. Asked about the honor, Johnny said, "Well, why not? President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. I have a lot of potential, too."