The Bargain

Back in the days of the Clinton White House,
It was said we had two Presidents when we'd only elected one.
Hillary being the other, you see.
Quite a bargain, one might say.

But the Obama administration has given us an even
More attractive package. All in one man:

Ideological consistency
And pragmatism,
Bipartisanship
And combativeness,
Populism
And elitism,
Fiscal discipline
And big-government liberalism,
Taciturnity
And logorrhea.

He is extremely moderate about being moderately extreme.
Come to think of it, he is a contradiction.
He contains multitudes.
Ten Presidents for the price of one!

The Blame Game

Had a terrorist bombing in Baghdad today
It was George W. Bush's fault!

And the housing market continues to sway
But it's George W. Bush's fault!

Unemployment rate continues to rise
It's still George W. Bush's fault!

Health care's collapsing before our eyes
And it's George W. Bush's fault!

Got stuck in traffic on the Belt Parkway
'Cause it's George W. Bush's fault!

The Celtics lost on the home parquet
It was George W. Bush's fault!

On Thanksgiving Michelle made too many pies
That was George W. Bush's fault!

I can keep this up for three more years, guys
Always George W. Bush's fault!